The One-Stop-Shop for Residents and Visitors to RONDA and the SERRANIA

Do you remember the song 'Help me, Rhonda', which was a smash hit record by The Beach Boys in 1965?

Well, with a minor spelling change, HELP ME RONDA makes the perfect name for this new website about one of the most stunning, historic and emblematic towns in Andalucía, if not the whole of Spain .

A one-stop-shop for residents and visitors to the Serrania de Ronda, HELP ME RONDA has sections covering services, shops, businesses, the police, transport, schools, the Press, places to stay, activities, food and drink, entertainment, and local politics, as well as articles, answers to FAQs, a blog, features and a photo gallery.

Alongside the website, there is a Facebook group and a WhatsApp group.

The Facebook group is for notifications about new content on the website and other information  of interest. 

Advertisements are NOT permitted on the Facebook group. 

We hope you will join. Current membership stands at 603 people from a range of nationalities [10/07/2024]. We easily achieved our target of 500 by the end of March 2024 and have now got to over 600 by the beginning of July. The group name is HELP ME RONDA.

The WhatsApp group's primary function is to provide a forum for questions, requests, pleas for and offers of help, plus information about professional services like legal, financial, tax, translation and interpreting, as well as tradespeople and so on.

The WhatsApp group DOES ALLOW advertisements. 

If you would like to join the group, please send your name and mobile number, using the CONTACT section of this website or by sending a WhatsApp message to Paul Whitelock at (+34) 636527516, and I'll add you to the group.

We hope that HELP ME RONDA in all three if its guises meets your needs.

The Places to Stay section only lists recommended places. There is no booking facility, since this is more than adequately catered for by other websites, such as, and the big boys like AirBnB, Booking and VRBO.

There is a Places to Eat section, which is based on our own experience of eating out in the area over 15 years. Most websites only list establishments that pay the website a fee. Our listings are NOT paid for, and are our own personal recommendations.

Currently we receive no payment for any basic listings on Help Me Ronda.  They are simply our recommendations based on over 20 years' experience of visiting the area and being residents for 15 years. However, we do plan to offer featured listings with photos and text for a small annual fee.

Please note that HELP ME RONDA accepts no liability for its recommendations, which are given in good faith.

About the Owner

Paul Whitelock is a retired former languages teacher, school inspector and translator, who emigrated to the Serranía de Ronda in 2008, where he lives with his German wife, Rita. He spends his time between Montejaque and Ronda doing DIY, gardening and writing. He also dabbles in property development, property sales [], and exclusive holiday rentals. 

If you're stuck and need an interpreter or translator, Paul also offers translation and interpreting services [ or (+34) 636 52 75 16.]

Paul and Rita Whitelock


MEDICAL CENTRES; DOCTORS; CHEMISTS; DENTISTS; OPTICIANS; OTHER, eg podiatrists, osteopaths, acupuncturists, physiotherapists

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Public transport options are very good in Ronda. There are also local bus and train services. Taxis are plentiful and good value.

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In Ronda there are a good number of primary schools and high schools. Two recommended schools, based on personal experience and a third by word of mouth.

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There are three police bodies in Spain: POLICIA NACIONAL POLICIA LOCAL GUARDIA CIVIL Trafico Seprona

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This is a list of some recommended holiday accommodation in the Serrania de Ronda. It is not a booking site. Make bookings direct with the advertiser.

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THE SPANISH PRESS FOREIGN PAPERS and MAGAZINES An overview of free papers published in Andalucia. News websites

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WHAT'S ON - Entertainment Guide


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These bars, cafes and restaurants are our own personal favourites. We take no payment nor commission. Also food reviews.

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The Serrania de Ronda, or La Comarca de Ronda, includes the capital Ronda and 21 other municipalities. Here is a list of all 22 in rank order of population (based on 2021 census figures).

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This section is for all of us to use. An ideal place to post news about what's going on in local politics in the area. Suggestions for improvements to council services. Opinions and complaints.

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SECOND HAND Segunda mano

There has been an explosion of interest in buying and selling used items. Many are online but there are also some shops, both commercial and charity.

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Something to sell or swap? Looking for something to buy. Household goods, garden tools, building materials, cars, etc. Here are links to several online sites which may be useful.

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This is a noticeboard for you to use for messages, small ads, missing cats and dogs, local meetings, events and fiestas Other items of interest

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"El nomadismo digital" is in its early stages in this part of Spain. However, the Spanish government, keen to develop this new industry, has introduced a special visa for digital nomads. Scroll down for rentals set up for remote working.

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MASSIVE RURAL PROPERTY with DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL on the outskirts of RONDA. This could be developed into a delightful boutique hotel, a residential retirement home or a large private home.

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CASA REAL, MONTEJAQUE - Large modernised traditional village house in beautiful pueblo blanco - 149.000€

CASA REAL, MONTEJAQUE - Large modernised traditional village house in beautiful pueblo blanco - 149.000€

This traditional village house in Montejaque, near Ronda (Malaga) has been reformed to a high standard. Measuring 200 square metres, it has 3 bedrooms, sleeping 6 adults plus a baby/infant.

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CHARMING CHALET in the countryside south of Ronda - 398,000€

CHARMING CHALET in the countryside south of Ronda - 398,000€

This beautiful house has a living space of 131 m2 with a large closed conservatory, living room with fireplace, 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, kitchen and pantry.

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*BACK ON THE MARKET* Stunning villa in pueblo blanco - *SALE FALLEN THROUGH*

*BACK ON THE MARKET* Stunning villa in pueblo blanco - *SALE FALLEN THROUGH*

Villa La Roca is a delightful house set in a beautiful location on the edge of Montecorto (Malaga). 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms plus guest WC. Open plan lounge, dining room and library. Gardens and pool. In immaculate condition.

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CASA RITA, MONTEJAQUE - An immaculate fully renovated 3-bed, 3-bath property - 200,000€.

CASA RITA, MONTEJAQUE - An immaculate fully renovated 3-bed, 3-bath property - 200,000€.

CASA RITA, MONTEJAQUE - An immaculate fully renovated 3-bed, 3-bath property. 4 patios/terraces. Fully furnished. A great first or second home or a quality rental.

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New on the market is this popular bar/restaurant in a prime location in a pretty pueblo blanco near Ronda. The owners have reached retirement age and have decided to take a well-earned rest. A great opportunity to take over a thriving business.

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BOUTIQUE HOTEL/INN in Montejaque - 395,000€

BOUTIQUE HOTEL/INN in Montejaque - 395,000€


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LARGE 4-BEDROOM HOUSE IN MONTEJAQUE with development potential - 185,000€

LARGE 4-BEDROOM HOUSE IN MONTEJAQUE with development potential - 185,000€

This substantial property is in the charming village of Montejaque, a mere 25-minute scenic drive away from historic Ronda. Potential for development.

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NEW HOUSE in gated community with POOL - 150,000€

NEW HOUSE in gated community with POOL - 150,000€

STUNNING BRAND NEW TOWNHOUSE WITH 3 BEDROOMS in the lovely white village of Montejaque. This never-been-lived-in property offers a comfortable and modern living space with three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Shared pool.

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IMMACULATE, LARGE TWO-FLOOR DETACHED HOUSE in Montejaque with potential for development as a business - 399,000€

IMMACULATE, LARGE TWO-FLOOR DETACHED HOUSE in Montejaque with potential for development as a business - 399,000€

This huge house on a quiet street in Montejaque offers a range of possibilities. It would make a very desirable home, holiday home and/or rental property. Or there is the space to open a bistro and/or develop the vast lower floor into four or five en suite bedrooms, for rent.

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CASA 87, RONDA - Large semi-detached house on sought-after estate - 185,000€

CASA 87, RONDA - Large semi-detached house on sought-after estate - 185,000€

CASA 87 IN RONDA - 185,000€ This substantial corner house with large garden and driveway on the much-desired Arenal 2000 estate in Ronda has recently undergone a complete makeover. It is now available to buy.

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A CHARMING 4-BED, 4-BATH DETACHED HOUSE in Montejaque with garden and space for a pool - 120,000€

A CHARMING 4-BED, 4-BATH DETACHED HOUSE in Montejaque with garden and space for a pool - 120,000€

Montejaque is one of the most picturesque of the pueblos blancos. Previously a hostal, it could be again or is an excellent opportunity to acquire a comfortable and peaceful home.

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Spanish Matters neatly encapsulates the purpose of these articles. Not only are they about matters concerning the Spanish language (castellano),but also about reinforcing the importance of learning sufficient Spanish to engage with local people.

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This section is about Spanish music, artistes and bands. A personal selection by The Culture Vulture and other writers.

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Plays, musicals, opera, ballet, orchestral and choral events, flamenco, and more. Entreamigos, Entrebambolinas, Proyecto Platea, etc.

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This section contains recommendations of books to do with Spain. Also appreciations of famous writers on Spain.

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The bright light of Andalucia has attracted artists to the area for centuries. Here's a run-down. of the art scene in Ronda and the villages of the Serrania.

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This section is an unashamedly random collection of articles about historical aspects of Spain and its people. There is no chronology and no planned order of topics.

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Films in the Spanish language. Films by Hispanic directors. Films set in Spanish-speaking countries. Filmmakers from A to Z, Almodovar to Zambrano

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Reviews of cultural events in the area. Theatre, musical events, festivals, ferias, books, films and other events and activities.

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Famous Ronda-born people and adopted 'rondeñ@s' y 'serranos', from Abbás ibn Firnás to Ernest Hemingway, from Orson Welles to Vicente Espinel.

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Novelists, dramatists, poets and non-fiction writers with a strong connection to Ronda and the Serrania. Spanish, German, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, English, Norwegian and American.

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Articles about foreigners who live in the area. Some with jobs, some without and others retired. Interviews with 'strangers' and TV documentaries.

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Recipes from around the world from residents and non-residents. Do you have a good recipe or two? Why not add them here?

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HOW TO ..... get an ECO-STICKER for your car

By The Crazy Guy

From 1 January 2023 if you want to travel into a town or city in Spain, you are supposed to display an eco-Sticker on the windscreen of your car. From the end of the year all towns in Spain with more than 50,000 inhabitants must have the infrastructure in place to monitor cars entering their municipio

From that date it is also compulsory for drivers to display the appropriate sticker for their vehicle.

Older vehicles are not eligible and must not enter these urban ZBEs (Zonas Bajas Emisiones – in English Low Emissions Zones). But you may still drive your car outside of these areas.

These restrictions do not apply to foreign-registered vehicles.

This initiative, which has already begun in cities such as Madrid, Barcelona, Valencia and Sevilla, as well as Valladolid, Alicante and Murcia, is designed to clean up the polluted air in inner-city areas.

All of a sudden, car owners are getting concerned. I first heard about it when a friend posted a link to a WhatsApp group before Christmas.

Since then The Olive Press has published an article (current edition Issue 410 or

Lenox Napier, a blogger at EyeOnSpain, has also covered it in a very witty article. See below.
The Stickers

There are five categories and four stickers. Category A is for vehicles which are too old and have high exhaust emissions and MAY NOT ENTER A ZBE. Petrol vehicles registered before 2001 and diesels before 2006 fall into this category.

The other categories are colour-coded:

B, yellow, is for petrol vehicles registered from 1 January 2001 and diesels from 1 January 2006.
C, green, is for petrol vehicles registered from 1 January 2006 and diesels after 1 September 2015.
Eco, green and blue, is for hybrid, natural gas, CNG or LPG vehicles
Zero ‘O’, blue, for electric, hydrogen or fuel cell vehicles.
You can find out which sticker is for you by going to the DGT website and entering your registration number. My car is relatively new, so I get a green sticker.
How to get your sticker

There are several ways:
  • Online at the DGT website (Direccion General de Tráfico)
  • At any post office – Correos
  • At selected car parts distributors – in Ronda at Sierra Sur Recambios Ronda in Calle Río Guadalteba in the Polígono Industrial.  
A sticker costs 5€.


I went to Sierra Sur today to get mine. All I needed to show were the car’s documents and my ID.

Five minutes, five euros. Sorted.
With thanks to:

Jill La Peche
Lenox Napier
The Olive Press
© The Crazy Guy
Other useful links:



EyeOnSpain Eco Stickers and How Long Have We Got? (


Tags: CNG, Correos, Crazy Guy, DGT, diesel, dirección general de tráfico, eco-sticker, fuel cell, LEZ, LPG, Olive Press, petrol, Sierra Sur Recambios, ZBE

HOW TO ..... import a foreign vehicle to Spain and re-register it onto Spanish number plates

Saturday, March 19, 2022

The Crazy Guy recently completed the process of importing a UK vehicle to Spain and re-registering it onto Spanish number plates. He found it extremely straightforward.

When I decided to buy a UK vehicle here in Spain, I knew I needed to re-register it as soon as possible. I asked some friends who’d already done this and they referred me to companies on the coast that do it for you for a pretty hefty fee.

I decided that I probably didn’t need to waste money I didn’t have, so I decided to do it myself with the help of a gestor.

Irene, the gestora, told me what I needed to do and how much each stage of the process would cost. Once I’d completed the process, I just needed to bring all the paperwork in and she would deal with tráfico in Málaga. All for a fee of just 80 euros!

This is what I had to do:

Get an independent engineer’s report (una ficha técnica reducida). She gave me the phone number of a local engineer, Natale, and told me it would cost 110€. It cost…110€.

I had to get the headlights changed, as it is a right-hand-drive vehicle. My neighbour Antonio, a car mechanic, did that for 380€.

Next, I had to go to the ITV testing station to request an inspección técnica de vehículos, like a super strict MOT. A few days later I was contacted with an appointment. They did the test. It passed. 150€.

I returned to Irene, my gestora, and gave her all the paperwork. A week later I was contacted to be told everything was in order with tráfico in Málaga. I just needed to pop into the office to pay some tax and the gestora’s fee.

A few days later I was summoned again to collect my new placas, number plates. Bob’s your uncle! My car was now Spanish and legal.

Here’s my final bill:

  • Ficha técnica reducida €110
  • Change of headlights €380
  • ITV €150
  • Import tax €600
  • Gestora fee €80
TOTAL €1,320

Please note:
My vehicle was imported to Spain before the UK left the EU. From 1 January 2021 onwards, you have to pay import duty on top.

HOW TO ..... save money on your electricity bill?

By The Crazy Guy

Saturday, November 27, 2021

The Spanish government introduced nationwide changes to electricity charging and billing on 1 June 2021. These changes have to be applied by all electricity suppliers. There is a view among the public that this is a price hike. In fact there have been street demonstrations protesting against the changes.However, this is not necessarily the case, says The Crazy Guy. There really is an opportunity to save money on our bills, so that we end up paying less than we used to.

Since 1 June new regulations and new pricing will be applied to our electricity consumption. The main change is to tariffs. From now on there are three tariffs, peak (punta), standard (llano) and off-peak (valle).

Three energy periods

The new 2.0 TD tariff will have three different time periods for consumption, split over six time bands in which the cost of electricity will be different throughout the day. The schedule for new billing periods depends on the day of the week, the month, and the geographical area.

Billing periods from Monday to Friday in the peninsula, the Canary Islands and the Balearic Islands:

  • VALLE: It is the cheapest period and includes the night-time hours with lower electricity consumption, from 00:00 am to 8:00 am AND AT WEEKENDS AND ON BANK HOLIDAYS.
  • PUNTA: It is the most expensive period and is from 10:00 am to 2:00 pm and from 6:00 pm to 10:00 pm
  • LLANO: This period has an intermediate price and is from 8:00 am to 10:00 am, 2:00 pm to 6:00 pm and from 10:00 pm to 12:00 am
If we re-organise our consumption, so that we use as much off-peak power as possible, we can all save money. 130€ per year per household on average, according to the National Markets and Consumption Commission (CNMC). 200-300€ per year if you can avoid “simultaneous consumption”, ie more than one device running at the same time. Not sure why this should be the case, but, hey, I’m just a blogger …..

Obvious things to change include:
  • using off-peak power for washing machines, driers and dishwashers.
  • If you have a pool, let the pump run in the early hours.
  • If you have a watering system for the garden, why not run it in the early hours?
  • Other tips to save energy consumption include reducing the temperature setting on your fridge to 5ᵒC (what? – ours is set to 3ᵒC, which is more than adequate, even in summer!)
  • An iron uses lots of power. If you do your ironing before 8.00 am you could save 36€ a year.
  • Reduce the thermostat on your central heating to 20 in winter and 25 in summer.
  • Use the ECO setting on appliances like dishwashers, washing machines and tumble driers.
  • Watch less TV. Televisions are notoriously expensive to run, so having yours on in the background with nobody really watching it is costing you big-style.
  • Leaving devices and appliances on standby also consumes electricity. Unplug every time.
Making adjustments
We’ve already made changes in our house.
Our pool pump now runs in the early morning, the irrigation system too.
We’ve started putting the washing machine on when we go to bed. The dishwasher also. We don’t do much ironing, but it will now get done before 8.00 am or at weekends.
Our freezer is already set to -18ᵒC and our fridges to 3ᵒC, way below the recommended 5ᵒC.

Recommended suppliers

We were ripped off by ENDESA for 10 years. Based on our own experience and that of friends (real ones as well as the Facebook variety), we recommend the following suppliers:

Eléctrica Serranía de Ronda
Nordic Energy
IBERDROLA (we've recently switched to them to get a 14% discount)

HOW TO ….. get your house warm?

Tuesday, March 29, 2022

When The Crazy Guy was nearing completion of the reforma of an old house in a mountain village 690 metres above sea level, he realised how cold it was in the house, so what to do?

I bought an old village house in Montejaque , near Ronda in October 2020. 12 months later it was ready for a trial rental. Good friends from the UK tested the house and gave very useful feedback.

In February and March 2022, friends from Germany stayed in the house free of charge in exchange for their labour, mainly joinery jobs.

However, this period of time coincided with the coldest start to a year for a long while in this part of Andalucía and they were cold in this draughty house dating from the 19th century. All they had for heating was a gas fire in the living area and electric radiators in the bedrooms.

So, what did I do?

Firstly, I installed a pellet stove in the living area. We took the flue up through the ceiling and through one of the bedrooms, before exiting at eaves level.

Secondly, I ordered new double glazed windows with built-in shutters for the front of the house, and a new entrance door.

Thirdly, I installed a wall heater in each of the bathrooms.

What a difference!

The downstairs (open plan lounge, dining room and kitchen) is now as warm as toast.

The second bedroom is nicely warmed by the stove pipe passing through it.

It is no longer an ordeal to go to the loo or take a bath or shower.

The main bedroom is easily kept warm with the existing electric radiator.

The thick stone walls of the house ensure that the heat stays in.

And in the summer, these same walls will ensure that the heat stays out.

What a great result!

How to ….. SAVE MONEY

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

In the midst of the cost-of-living crisis currently raging through Spain, Europe and the world, The Crazy Guy recommends the following 13 money-saving tips. Maybe he's not so crazy after all?

Air conditioning

Avoid using it. There are other ways to keep your house cool in the summer. Click here to find out how.

Air conditioning in your car increases fuel consumption. Open your window instead.

Airport water

Once through baggage control, most outlets at Málaga Airport charge 2.40€ for half-a-litre. At the newsagents FOYER you can get two bottles for 2.90€. All rather expensive.

TIP 1: After you have gone through passport control you only need to pay 1€. The dispensing machines are clearly marked.

TIP 2: If you take an empty plastic bottle through the baggage control (permitted) you can fill up for free.


TIP: Shop around for the best deal. You should NOT be paying maintenance charges. Check this article here.

After carrying out this research I switched to CaixaBank where the criteria for free banking are easier to meet. In fact, we both switched from Unicaja Banco, who had started charging, to CaixaBank and are each saving 240€ per year.

Car use

TIP 1: Use public transport instead, especially for long trips. With a tarjeta sesentycinco you get 50% off the fare.

TIP 2: For airport runs consider parking at the airport, which saves two legs over somebody taking you by car.


TIP 1: Shop around for a better deal, We just switched to IBERDROLA where we are guaranteed 14% saving on the bills from our previous supplier.

TIP 2: Use the cheapest tariff, typically from 00.00 to 08.00, for certain devices, eg washing machine and tumble drier, dishwasher, ironing, pool pump and irrigation system.

TIP 3: Install solar panels – there is currently still a 40% discount available, but hurry!

TIP 4: Install LED bulbs.

TIP 5: Don’t leave devices like TVs, computers, charging cables, etc on standby.

TIP 6: If you have electric heating, turn it down or off and put on warmer clothes.


TIP: Cancel your logs order. Scavenge wood from the tip, eg pallets, and saw or chop it up. Sure, it burns quickly, but at least it’s free.


TIP 1: If you can fly midweek and/or at unsocial hours, you can save a fortune.

TIP 2: Travel light, if possible with just the small carry-on bag (free). It’s surprising what you can fit into a small mochila.

TIP 3: Avoid buying food and drink on the plane. Take your own food from home or buy a meal deal at the airport (eg WH Smith). Buy 1€ water at the airport or fill up an empty bottle free-of-charge (see above).


TIP 1: Shop around for the best price in your area. Avoid the big chains like BP, Cepsa, Esso, Galp, Repsol and Shell. AGLA (Asociacion de Gasolineras Libres de Andalucía) are often the cheapest.

TIP 2: Consider going by public transport, eg bus or train. We recently went to Sevilla by bus and it only cost us about 26€ return for both of us (with a tarjeta sesentycinco, a discount card for over 65s). Way cheaper than fuel and parking charges.


TIP 1: Go to Vicky’s, C/ Pozo, 6, 29400 Ronda. After 6.00 pm every evening gents can get a free haircut. Your barnet will be cut by a trainee, but to save at least 10€, why not?

TIP 2: Let your hair grow, like I am.


TIP: Carry out your research on, say, then contact the hotel of your choice direct for an even better deal. We’ve done it three times recently in Chiclana, Malaga and Sevilla and saved money.


TIP: Shop around at renewal time. We recently saved a load on our monthly private healthcare insurance premium by switching from DKV to Sanitas.

Our current car insurer still offers us the cheapest premium, so we stayed put. CASER via Abbeygate.


TIP 1: Shop at ALDI, Día, LIDL, Supeco, and Super Carmela  instead of at Al Campo, Carrefour, Hipercor and Mercadona.

TIP 2: Buy marcas blancas (own-brand goods).

TIP 3: Shop late in the day – perishable goods are often marked down in price.


TIP 1: Shower instead of having a bath.

TIP 2: Don’t leave the tap running , eg when cleaning your teeth.

With energy, food and transport costs soaring, not to mention services like banking and insurance, it pays to make savings where one can.

Good luck!

© The Crazy Guy

HOW TO ….. save on bank charges?

By The Crazy Guy

Saturday, November 20, 2021

Cheque (sic) your Spanish bank account

Banks are lobbing charges on current accounts without warning customers. Some customers now pay 240 euros a year just to have an account. The Crazy Guy investigates.

The biggest high-street names in Spain have tightened their special conditions for clients who want free banking.Some banks are charging their customers up to 240 euros a year - in other words 20 euros a month - just for having an account with them. The commissions for the most basic financial services keep going up and the conditions demanded by some banks to exempt their clients from these charges are increasingly severe.

This is the way the banking sector has decided to increase its own income in a scenario of negative interest rates.

In the first six months of this year all the big banks increased their earnings from commissions, as they themselves reveal in their results. The five biggest banks in the country alone earned more than 10 billion euros just through charges and commissions.

In the case of Málaga-based Unicaja Banco (which is the fifth biggest in the country after its merger with Liberbank), between January and June this year it earned 10.6 per cent more from commissions than in the same period last year.

This increased income from commissions is not coincidental, but the result of an active policy of charging more and imposing conditions which are difficult to meet.

There is a double objective to this policy: they want to encourage more of their most loyal customers to contract financial products such as insurance, pension plans and investment funds, and they want to earn more from customers who merely have an account with them.

Numerous complaints
This strategy of increasing commissions and making it harder for clients to be exempt from them has resulted in increased conflict between the banks and consumers.

According to Banco de Espana, the number of complaints from customers about current accounts rose last year by nearly 50 per cent to 4,153. Most of the complaints were about the higher charges, where the number almost doubled, to 2,134. Complaints about bank commissions now account for ten per cent of the total.
Let’s look at some examples of what banks are now charging:

At the end of last year the leading Spanish bank, Santander, began to charge 240 euros a year instead of 144 (in other words, 66.7 per cent more), just for maintaining its One account. That charge applies to clients who do not fulfil the requirements for exemption: having a salary or pension of at least 600 euros a month paid into their account, three direct debits every three months and paying with a card six times in three months. If a client does not fulfil any of those three requirements, they will pay 240 euros a year. If they only fulfil the first one, they will pay 120 euros and if they fulfil the first one and one of the others they won't pay any account maintenance charges at all.

CaixaBank is the other bank at the top of the list of maintenance charges for account holders. Since October 2020 it has been charging 240 euros a year. If customers don't want to pay charges, they have to fulfil several requirements: pay a salary of at least 600 euros a month or a pension of 300 euros directly into their account, or have more than 20,000 euros in investment funds, savings or pension plans, as well as paying three bills through the account or making three purchases with their card every quarter. If they only have their salary or pension paid in the bank charges 60 euros a year.

In June 2021 BBVA also tightened its conditions for those who want to avoid maintenance charges. The group announced that it would be charging 160 euros a year for clients who did not meet its conditions, justifying the decision by blaming "the economic situation following the health crisis, and the evolution of the financial markets".

To avoid paying commissions customers have to fulfil three criteria: income paid in (salary of more than 800 euros, pension or benefit of more than 300 euros, or periodic credits of more than 800 euros a month); payments through the account (five bills in four months or seven credit card purchases in four months) and products (loan, mortgage, insurance, investment funds, savings plans or insured incomes, or three payments of 200 euros by card in four months).

BancSabadell, and its subsidiary Solbank, in the meantime, increased its commissions for account maintenance twice last year, the first to 60 euros a year and the second to 120.

To avoid having to pay these, clients have to take out some type of insurance or loan or have at least 10,000 euros in investment funds with the bank, as well as having income of at least 700 euros a month paid directly into their account.

In March, Unicaja Banco told its customers that charges were going up for those who did not fulfil the requirements of its Zero Commission Plan: a salary, pension or unemployment payment of 600 euros or more paid directly into the account, or regular credits of at least 7,200 euros a year; pay at least 1,200 euros a year by credit card or a minimum of two operations a month; and have an insurance policy through the bank, or have a minimum balance of 6,000 euros in the account or in other products (investment funds, pension plans or savings).

Only those who fulfil all these requirements will be exempt from commissions. Those who only fulfil some of them will pay 60 euros a year and those who don't fulfil any of them will have to pay 120 euros.

Credit and Debit Cards
In addition to the cost involved in having a simple bank account there is commission for other basic services such as a debit card. Most banks have stopped offering these free of charge, unless the client fulfils the conditions listed above.


On a personal level I have accounts at two banks. My main account is at BancSabadell, where I fulfill their requirements and have free banking, including my credit and debit cards.

I have also had an account with Unicaja for over 20 years. They have just started to charge me 10 euros a month, ie 120 euros a year, despite always having had free banking up to now.

I don’t fulfill one of their requirements and they are not prepared to be flexible and make an exception, so I have closed the account and switched to CaixaBank, whose requirements are less strict than the other big banks.

I would have thought that Unicaja would have appreciated my loyalty for over two decades, and accommodated me, but no, so “¡ADIÓS Unicaja!”.

With acknowledgements to SUR IN ENGLISH

HOW TO ..... pay less tax in Spain?

Friday, November 19, 2021

If you act fast you can save a lot of money before the end of the year. The implementation of some basic tips will help you cut your personal income tax for the next income tax declaration in 2022.

The Organisation of Consumers and Users (OCU) reminds us that we still have time to reduce our personal income tax bill for the next tax declaration in 2022. If you want to pay fewer taxes, the OCU encourages us to implement a series of guidelines before 31 December 2021.

“At OCU we want to help you by reminding you of our 10 tax tricks, tips that, always within the law, will allow you to reduce your liability to the Spanish Inland Revenue (Agencia Tributaria or Hacienda).”

1. Take advantage of regional deductions

Did you know that it is possible that you can offset your children’s daycare, educational expenses, public transport travel ticket, domestic help, the installation of water or energy-saving devices, rent, etc.? To confirm this, the OCU advises as a first step to clarify first of all the tax deductions to which you are entitled, which vary depending on each autonomous community, and put them into practice.

2. Communicate changes in your family circumstances

Inform your employer of any change in your family situation: if a child is born, if you divorce, if there is a disability … The amount of personal income tax you are liable for depends, among other things, on family circumstances.

3. Exchange salary in cash for salary in kind

Obtaining part of your salary as wages in kind is a good way to save taxes: some benefits such as health insurance for the employee, his spouse and his children; food vouchers; season tickets, are exempt from income tax.

4. Review your expenses like a professional

If you pay trades union subscriptions, professional college fees or if you have had a labour lawsuit and have paid fees to the lawyer and attorney, those expenses may be deducted from your overall income.

5. Make donations

Donations may be deducted, and if you always make them to the same entities, more so. If you make donations to NGOs, foundations and non-profit organisations, you may deduct 80% on the first 150 euros, and 35% on what exceeds that amount (that percentage rises to 40% if it is the third year of you donating to the same entity and each donation has been equal to or greater than the previous one). So, it is time, then, to start supporting a charity.

6. Pay off your mortgage

If you have the right to take advantage of the tax deduction for the purchase of a habitual residence, you should pay off your mortgage before the end of the year, according to the OCU. “If you bought your house before 2013, 15% of what you paid to buy the house is deducted, up to a maximum of 9,040 euros, or 18,080 if you pay it with your spouse and you declare separately. It is worthwhile to pay off your mortgage in advance up to an amount that reaches that limit and thus take full advantage of the deduction,” they argue.

7. Wait until you turn 65 to sell your house

If you are close to reaching 65 and you are considering selling your habitual home, it makes sense to wait until you turn 65, because any profit you make from the sale will be tax-free.

8. If you are a landlord, take advantage

If you are the owner of a rental property, you can deduct from your rental income expenses such as: IBI, advertisements, agency, insurance, community … and also repair and maintenance expenses and the interest on loans for the purchase or improvement of the property (up to a certain limit).

9. Save on pension plan

Contributions of up to 8,000 euros to a pension plan cut the personal income tax bill, but be careful: it is very important to choose a good plan, otherwise the expenses and low profitability can turn it into a bad investment.

10. Compensation for profit and loss

If you are an investor, if you have assets to sell … remember that profits outweigh losses (and vice versa). Act accordingly.

And remember…

It is important to keep all supporting documents for deductible expenses (receipts for payments, courses, donations, etc) in order to avoid possible problems.


Organisation of Consumers and Users (OCU)

HOW TO ….. Dodge the Tax Man (or not): Catastral Values and Tax in Spain

Monday, March 7, 2022

It used to be standard practice when buying and selling property in Spain to under-declare the value in the escritura (deed), in order to avoid tax. Everybody was complicit, vendor and purchaser obviously, but also estate agents, lawyers and even notaries turned a blind eye. 
In recent years the authorities have tried to clamp down, however. Paul Whitelock, who has transacted a few houses in Spain in his time, has had a look at the current situation.

The practice of under-declaring a property’s value to avoid taxes has to some extent disappeared. Once upon a time everybody was at it and it seemed to be condoned. All part of the long-accepted tradition of low-level corruption in Spain.

In the last few years things have tightened up, however. Most estate agents and lawyers are no longer prepared to get involved, as fines can be heavy.

Every property has a valor catastral, a value for tax purposes. This may have nothing whatsoever to do with the real value, as valuations in many areas are well out of date, and certainly does not relate to market value, although, as house prices have dropped markedly since la crisis (the 2008 recession, not the Covid-19 one!) they can be uncannily accurate.
To counteract the fact that valuations are out of date each town/village has a coefficient by which the valor catastral is multiplied to arrive at a more accurate valuation for tax purposes. 

Hacienda use this to try and prevent loss of revenue through under-declaring the price when properties change hands.

So, for example, I used to have an apartment in Ronda with a valor catastral of just over 17,300€. The coefficient for Ronda is a massive 4.2 because property values have not been re-assessed since 1998. That made the valuation of my apartment for tax purposes 72,660€. 

In the mid-80s, ie before the worldwide recession in 2008, the market value was much higher, at around 120,000€. So the system is by no means perfect, because if we had sold the flat then, we could have under-declared massively and presumably got away with it! 

I eventually sold the flat three years ago for about 10,000€ more than the valor catastral. Got my timing wrong there, didn’t I?

In nearby Montejaque, the situation is very different. Here the coefficient is just 1.8 because properties were re-valued as recently as 2007. 

A friend of ours owns a house there with a valor catastral of nearly 92,800€ which makes its value for tax purposes 167,040€. Its market value is probably around 150,000€ in the current economic climate, so, if she were to sell the house at that price, she’d pay more tax than she should!

If the authorities think you’ve under-declared to avoid paying tax, you could be in for a shock. You could be hit by a big tax bill for the shortfall and a fine to boot. 

So, you have been warned!

© Paul Whitelock

HOW TO ..... do your income tax return?

It’s time to think about doing your income tax return, the IRPF (Impuesto sobre Renta de Personas Físicas). You can do it yourself online, but The Crazy Guy much prefers to use a gestor. For a token charge, say 50€, a qualified gestor will do it with you in 20-30 minutes. 

Here’s more from The Crazy Guy.

By going to a gestoría you can save yourself a lot of worry and stress. My wife and I go to an excellent family gestoría in Ronda, where Daniel is the tax expert.

My wife typically ends up paying a few cents tax a year, plus Daniel’s fee. I pay nothing at all to Hacienda, because my income is below the tax threshold (my UK pension is taxed in the UK, so I don’t have to pay again in Spain, under the Spain/UK dual taxation agreement. Oddly, my wife, a German, pays tax on her German pensions in Germany, but is also required to pay tax on earned income in Spain – Spain and Germany have no dual tax agreement). 
Daniel is also excellent when it comes to other tax matters. For example, when I sold a Spanish property four years ago I made a capital gain of 15,000€, and assumed I was going to get clobbered for tax. However, I sat with Daniel, and by the time we’d deducted all the allowable off-sets, I ended up paying ….. 50€! Yes, 50€ tax, plus his fee of 50€. What a great outcome!
The Declaración de la Renta season has started and concludes on the last working day in June.

Basically, if you are tax resident in Spain, ie you reside here for more than 183 days per year, you are required to make an annual personal declaration of your worldwide income.

This can, of course, be either a source of dread or excitement, depending upon your situation.

If you've overpaid in the calendar year of 2022, you'll be due something back, but if you've underpaid, you'll need to hand over the difference.

If you are due a tax refund the State tax office, Agencia Tributaria or Hacienda, has until December 31 to pay it to you. If they pay after that date they must also add interest.
But the good news is that Hacienda does not normally stretch it out that long, especially if you get your declaration in early – sometimes, taxpayers get their rebates before May is out.

For those who need to pay to make up a shortfall, you would typically be expected to settle it in a lump sum before the end of June, but as long as you apply to do so before the close of the 'declaration window', you can arrange to stagger it in several payments.

Who is required to make a Declaración de la Renta?

Annual income tax declarations, in Spain, are not just for the self-employed. Almost everyone has to file one, even if they are retired or their income is from non-work-related activities – but there are some exceptions.
In general, if your income for the whole of the previous calendar year was from just one source, and was less than €22,000 in total, you are not required to make an annual declaration.
I was in this fortunate situation for years, as my only source of taxable income was the UK state pension which is way below the threshold. Now, I have one or two other sources, eg holiday rental income, income on bonds and bank savings account interest (my personal pension income, as described above, is already taxed PAYE in the UK and the net amount doesn’t count as income), so I must make a declaration. 

But as my total income from all sources comes nowhere near the threshold, I pay no tax anyway. All a bit futile, really. I just pay Daniel, my gestor, his 50€ fee. The whole thing is simple and free of pain.

What is classed as income?

Small amounts of money received as gifts or, for example, interest on a deposit account, selling a few second-hand personal effects at a car boot sale or on eBay or Wallapop, or a friend giving you €10 as a thanks for feeding their pets when they were on holiday, do not normally count as 'earnings' for tax declaration purposes.
However, if you are not sure whether you are exempt from making a declaration, check with your gestor, because if it turns out you should have made a declaration and you failed to do so, you could be fined.
There are other taxes, of course, that affect residents as well as non-residents, but I shall deal with those in another article.
In the meantime, further reading of possible interest is:
HOW TO ..... pay less tax in Spain? (
HOW TO ….. Dodge the Tax Man (or not): Catastral Values and Tax in Spain (
The taxmen are after you! - Secret Serrania de Ronda
Foreigners who pay tax in Spain stand to cash in from next year (

HOW TO ….. buy a house in Spain?

Thursday, May 26, 2022

Most prospective purchasers go through estate agents, either online or directly in their offices. But there are other ways. The Crazy Guy has bought several properties in Spain over the last two decades. Here, he offers advice based on his experience.

I’ve bought five houses in Spain over the last twenty years and have sold three. As a result, I’ve gathered some know-how and learned from my mistakes. There are various ways to buy a house. Here are my ideas.

Estate agents (agencias inmobiliarias)

Buying via an estate agent is the normal way to purchase property, but it’s the most expensive for the vendor, who must pay a hefty commission (typically 5% or more) and possibly for the purchaser also, as vendors are less inclined to bargain. Some estate agents try to claim a finder’s fee from the buyers. I would always refuse point blank. The estate agent is working for the vendor not the buyer.

We bought our first property in Spain, in Ronda, in 2001, via an estate agent, Unicasa (now gone bust).

Normally ultra-cautious at home in the UK, we agreed a deal to buy Piso Blanco within 30 minutes of viewing it (in our defence we had viewed umpteen properties in the preceding 12 months and knew straightaway that this small apartment in a comunidad with swimming pool in the up-and-coming Barrio San Francisco was perfect for our needs – a bolthole from our busy lives in England and also a potential holiday rental).

We did everything wrong. We didn’t get a survey, we used the estate agent’s recommended lawyer and opened an account at their recommended bank, Unicaja. All the advice said, don’t do any of those things.

We did, however, and it was no problem - the lawyer was fine and we had an account with Unicaja for 20 years (until they got too big for their boots and started to mistreat their clients and I closed the account).

We got great value from Piso Blanco. Two or three family visits a year plus good lettings when we weren’t using it.

When I sold it after 18 years, I even made a small profit. No estate agents were involved – it was a private word-of-mouth deal.

We bought our second property two years later. I found the house myself and spoke to the vendor direct, but he insisted on using an estate agent– I don’t know why, because it will have cost him more, but it was his choice. That estate agency, Interrealty, also went bust.

This time we were a bit more streetwise. We found our own legal representative, a procurador, similar to a conveyancing solicitor. He was much cheaper and more diligent than many a lawyer.

We didn’t bother with a survey, as we could see with our own eyes that the place was falling down. I exaggerate slightly, but Casa Blanca needed a lot of work, which I mostly did myself over the next couple of years with help from friends and family. Take a bow Alan, Tom and Johnny, Amy and Jeryl.

I sold Casa Blanca after five years and made a decent profit. I used an estate agent, A & B Inmobiliaria in Ronda. The fee included the legal work. B has since retired from estate agency, but A is now Emme Inmobiliaria.

The third house, bought by my then girlfriend Maude in 2004, was also via an estate agent, the aforementioned A & B Inmobiliaria. 

El Rincón was small, beautifully formed, but needed a lot of work, which I threw myself into enthusiastically. I was retired by then so had the time.

After my relationship with Maude ended, the house went up for sale. I sold it on Maude’s behalf by word of mouth. No estate agent involved. That was in 2010.

We went to the notary on the same day that Frank Lampard’s spectacular goal for England against Germany in the World Cup in South Africa was inexplicably disallowed. (No VAR back then).

House number four is our current home. We spotted it on the website of Olvera Properties. We fell in love with Villa Indiana at first sight and soon agreed a deal with the English owners who were moving back to the UK. The estate agent, Thom, was excellent, very attentive to us as purchasers also.

We chose not to use a lawyer (I felt confident after three previous property purchases that we did not need one. As it turned out, the vendor’s lawyer was also helpful to us for no charge).


There are companies that offer a house-finding service. In this case they are working for you, the prospective purchaser, so it’s right that they should collect a fee from you if they find you somewhere to buy. Their commission is similar to that charged to property vendors.


Literally “runners”, these are local folk who have a portfolio of properties for sale, many of which are unknown to estate agents. The Spanish are very suspicious of estate agents (their reputation is on a par with lawyers, second-hand car salesmen and timeshare sellers) so local folk will not work with them.

They are happy to work with corredores, however, and to pay them between two and three per cent of the sale price. The corredor will expect a similar amount from the buyers.

Despite this charge to the buyer, it usually works out cheaper through this system, as the vendor is more likely to lower his sale price because he is not using an expensive estate agent.

When we were looking for our first property back in 2000/2001, we were shown umpteen houses by corredores in Ronda, Arriate, Benaojan and Montejaque. Fascinating!

How do you find a corredor?

Simply go into the busiest bar in the town or village you have chosen and ask if there are any houses for sale. By the time you’re halfway down your first caña, there will be a local guy standing beside you, jangling keys from his belt and offering to show you a range of properties.

This system works on trust and a handshake.

I know several professional people who worked as corredores in their younger days, including my bank manager, Carlos, and two guiri hoteliers, Iain and Andy. The latter, recently retired from the hospitality industry, is still active, I believe.

Another friend of mine, Pablo, does it too. He’s long retired and sees this as a way of topping up his pension.

Private sales

You see quite a lot of handwritten se vende signs on properties, with a phone number. If you speak Spanish or have a friend that does, give the number a call.

That’s how I found my fifth house.

I’d just viewed a house in Montejaque (near Ronda) that I’d discovered by word-of-mouth, when I spotted a sign on the house next door. “That’s Armando’s house,” said my companion.

You mean Armando, mi amigo, del bar?”

I went straight to the bar, spoke to Armando who was about to close for the siesta, and he agreed to show me the house there and then. It was his family home, his parents were long deceased and the house was now owned by him and his three siblings who all live in the village.

Long story short, I bought the house, which I named Casa Real in their honour (their surname is Real).

A private sale, no lawyers involved, just the notary to legalise everything.

That’s the way to do it.


This tends to happen by chance, although you can try to engineer a word-of-mouth situation by asking in a bar or at the tourist office. Or by talking to other foreigners already living in the town or village. Nowadays you can also use social media, eg Facebook or Twitter.

I remember back in 2001, when we were on a 'recce', my then wife, Jeryl, and I asked the landlord, Juan, in the now defunct Bar Alemán in Montejaque, if he knew of any houses for sale.
“Yes my mother’s.”
“Can we view it?”
“Sí. Next week?”
“No it has to be today. We fly home to England tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s a bit tricky.”
“She doesn’t know yet that her house is for sale! I have to ask her if it’s OK”

Well, we got to see the house and liked it but took no decision at that point. When we returned a couple of months later, the house had been sold to a retired British couple, Philip and Sandra, who were later to become good friends of ours.

So, the clear message is: Strike while the iron’s hot!

No matter, later in the year we found Piso Blanco in Ronda, as referenced above.


So, dear reader, these are my recommendations. Most transactions still occur via estate agents, but the other methods are also worth considering.

Happy househunting!

Further reading:
My God, what have we done?
The Story of El Rincón
How We Found Our Dream Home
A Building Project Nears Completion
The Crazy Guy gets his house finished just in time
The Houses That Jack Built
Was It Something I said?

HOW TO ..... obtain a tourist property rental licence ?

By The Crazy Guy

Tuesday, November 30, 2021

In order to rent a property to tourists, you need a licence for that property. Failure to comply can be costly. And the authorities are on the lookout for houses being let without having this licence. And most online rental sites, like, Airbnb, Tuifly, etc. will not list your villa, house or apartment without your tourist licence number.

The Crazy Guy has two properties to rent and went online to find out how to apply for this licence. Well, that’s when the problems started!

Making the application

I rang the man who had sorted out the vivienda rural licence for my wife’s rental property, Casa Rita, 10 years ago. Alfredo doesn’t do that anymore, but he gave me the number of a man who can, he said. By the name of Oscar.

Oscar doesn’t do it either, but he told me it was really easy to do it yourself online.

So I went online to the appropriate website, read the information and started filling in the form which I deemed to be the correct one. I then needed a digital certificate to proceed.

With the help of Paco at Guadalinfo I applied for a digital certificate.
Well, I’m sorted, I thought. Not so.

At home, I went back online and tried to use my digital certificate. Nothing seemed to work. Why does one have to do everything online these days? What’s wrong with going to see somebody?

I asked friends who also have rental properties. One English lady said it was a doddle to do yourself. Not for me. Others recommended going to a gestor, who would do it for 150€ in one case, 200€ in another. Per property! Blimey! That’s a bit steep, I thought.

I decided to ring my Gestoría where they have different experts for different things. Daniel does my tax return every year for 50€, Ana Rosa does autónomo for the same price and Irene does anything to do with vehicles for 60€, eg she helped me import a vehicle from the UK and switch it to Spanish number plates and she changed the title on my wife’s recent second-hand car purchase. In no case did we have to travel all the way to Tráfico in Málaga City – she did that as part of her fee.

“Hola, soy The Crazy Guy. Do you have anybody who deals with tourist licences?”
“Sí, Crazy Guy, Rafael.”

I went to see Rafael, told him what I wanted and asked how much he charged. 30€ per house. A bargain compared with the other two gestores I’d been told about.
“When can we start?”
Rafael made me an appointment at Urbanismo in the Town Hall in Ronda to check whether my Ronda property was eligible for rentals and two days later I was sitting with him, armed with my escrituras and ID, while he filled in the online forms.
One property is classed as urban and, according to my new best friend, should be processed quickly. The other is rural and may take longer. Both properties will be inspected before a full licence is granted.
So, all my fretting and frustration with “online” was unnecessary. I should have simply gone to Gestoría Jiménez in the first place.
But, remember, it pays to shop around.


Recommended holiday lets in 2023:

Casa Montejaque, Montejaque – traditional village house, sleeps 4 adults . Available April to October.

Casa Rita, Montejaque – traditional village house with hot tub, sleeps 4 adults. Available April to October.

Villa Indiana, nr. Ronda – villa with private pool and large gardens, sleeps 4 adults and up to 2 children. Available occasionally. Please enquire.


In order to be granted a Tourist Licence, you need to meet the following requirements:
  • All rooms must have direct ventilation to the exterior or to inside patios and a system of darkening the windows (either blinds or shutters)
  • The property must be adequately furnished and equipped with the appliances, fixtures and fittings required for immediate use and according to the number of beds offered
  • First aid kit available in the property
  • Smoke and CO alarms
  • All guests should be provided with tourist information about the location, leisure areas, restaurants, grocery stores, closest parking facilities, medical services, transportation, as well as maps of the city and entertainment guides.
  • All guests should be provided with contact details of the owner or operator for any incidents
  • All guests should have at their disposal clear information and instructions on the usage of appliances and installations, as well as internal regulations and restrictions if any 
  • Availability of Claims and Complaints forms and a clearly positioned sign informing guests of their availablity 
  • Cleaning service on arrival and departure of each new guest. 
  • Linen, towels and household articles in proportion to the offered accommodation capacity, as well as a replacement set
Once you and your property comply with the above list and you have the required documents on hand you need to register for your Holiday Rental License by submitting the Responsible Declaration “Declaracion Responsable in front of the Tourist Board of Andalusia.

In this document you declare that you fulfil all above requirements and will be able to prove it during the inspection when it takes place. Now the Declaration is submitted you get your provisional (if submitted in paper form) or final (if submitted online with a digital certificate) Registry number which is the same as your Tourist License Number and you can legally start the activity of tourist rentals. Don’t forget to include the above Tourist License number in any advertisement of your property.

This however is not all…

Once you have obtained your Tourist License you also need to register your property with the Policía Local or Guardia Civil to fulfil your obligatory requirement of passing on ID details of each guest over 16 years of age.

This can be done online once the property has been duly registered with the Police.

Furthermore, a rental contract, even in its very simple form, needs to be signed with every guest and kept on file for the period of at least one year along with their ID details.

For houses in the countryside or in towns with less than 20.000 inhabitants, there is another license: VTAR (Vivienda de Turismo de Alojamiento Rural). It´s almost the same and the inspectors use the same checklist as mentioned above. For the VTAR license, however, there are some important differences.

  • Air-con: Air-conditioning is NOT an official requirement
  • LPO: Because of the legal status of houses in the countryside in practice the License of First Occupation isn´t checked by most inspectors. However, you can expect that in time the DAFO certificate will be the standard for the VTAR license. Unfortunately of course no-one can predict yet if this would also apply for licenses that already have been granted. 
  • Maximum 3 months: With the VTAR license you are only allowed to rent out for a maximum of 3 months (90 days) in total per year.
  • Vivienda Rural sign: You are obliged to have a standard entrance sign which says Vivienda Rural, your registration number, the official name of the house and the logo of the Junta de Andalucía. 
Just as with the normal RTA license, because you aren´t a company you can´t offer extra services like serving breakfast.

HOW TO …..apply for a replacement TIE

Thursday, June 9, 2022

You’ve lost your wallet or had it stolen. That means you’ve probably got to apply for new bank cards, ID, TIE, driving licence, health cards, discount and loyalty cards, senior citizens card, and many more.

Most are straightforward, but the most tricky to replace are your TIE, your driving licence and your passport, if that’s gone too.

I recently lost my wallet in Germany. I expected it to show up in a bin somewhere minus the cash, but three weeks on there’s no sign of it.

I was able to cancel bank and health cards and order new ones easily either online or by calling the dedicated phone line.

I discovered that some entities no longer issue plastic cards, eg Amigos de Paradores, Leroy Merlin and IKEA Family; it’s all done digitally/virtually.

Most replacements are free. Up to now the only entities to charge a fee have been Banco Sabadell (4€), Costa Press Club (15€), TIE (12€). I expect to have to pay a fee to the DGT for a replacement driving licence, but I don’t know how much yet.

This week, now back home in Spain, I’ve spent hours on getting a replacement Tarjeta de Identidad de Extranjero (TIE).

Now I know how to go about it. Here’s how:

  1. First step is to make a denuncia to report the loss. You do this at the Comisaría de la Policía Nacional if you live in a town or city; at the Guardia Civil if you live in a village.
  2. Book a cita previa at your local Extranjería, which is usually in the Comisaría de la Policía Nacional. Do this online at
  3. Go to, and fill in form EX-17 and print it off.
  4. Go to, and complete modelo 790 and print it off.
  5. Go to any bank with the denuncia report and modelo 790 and pay the fee of 12 euros.
  6. Take the following to your appointment with Extranjería:
  • Form EX-17
  • Modelo 790
  • Denuncia report
  • Passport and one fotocopy of it
  • 3 passport photos (although they didn’t take mine, as my photo is stored on their system.
  • They will take your fingerprints (huellas)
  • They will give you a resguardo, a chit stating that you have applied for a new TIE, should you be asked for it.
After a month you have to ring the number they give you to check that your new TIE is there (why can’t they ring you when it arrives?).

If it is, go online again to make a cita previa to collect your TIE (recoger TIE).

That’s it. It turned out to be quite straightforward in the end.

Hope this helps, but more than that I hope you don’t lose your wallet or get it nicked.


“WHEN I’M 65…” HOW TO ….. get a tarjetasesentaycinco

Sunday, December 11, 2022

By The Crazy Guy

Recently in the post I received my tarjeta sesentaycinco from the Junta de Andalucía. I’d applied for it only a week or so previously. 

It entitles me to a range of benefits, namely
  • Permanent telephone support from the Andalusian region 24 hours a day, 365 days a year
  • 50% discount on interurban bus tickets
  • 30 – 55% discount on spectacles, frames and varifocals
  • 30 - 35% discount on hearing aids
  • Discounts on cultural and leisure events
  • Free legal consultation
  • Luncheon vouchers
  • Domestic grants

Applying for the card

The card is applied for online or by printing off the form here (in Spanish). There is a helpline which can be answered in English (Monday to Friday) on (0034) 900200165.

Eligibility criteria:

  • over 65
  • resident in Andalucía
  • empadronado (on the electoral roll)

What to do:

  • you apply at your local town hall.
  • You have to provide a recent passport photo and copies of an identity document, residence (NIE or TIE) and padrón certificate.
  • The card is free and lasts five years at which point you can renew for free.

I’m off now on an interurban bus to get new glasses and a hearing aid. If the bus crashes, I can ring the 24-hour helpline and get free legal advice!

© The Crazy Guy

Tags: 24-hour, card, certificate, crazy guy, discount, document, empadronado, free, grant, hearing aid, helpline, identity, interurban, junta de Andalucía, legal advice, NIE, online, padron, passport, photo, resident, sesentaycinco, spectacles, tarjeta, TIE, town hall

One of our German grand-daughters is coming to visit us here in Andalucia. Madita, 16, is travelling on her own from South Germany to spend a holiday with us. We want to treat her to a surfing lesson, so, off we went to Spain's Atlantic coast to do a recce.

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For most of the year bars and restaurants in southern Spain rely on their outside space – their terrace – to provide the experience that tourists and locals want. So, what is going on in Montejaque (Málaga)? All the terraces have disappeared.

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Large parts of Spain depend on tourism. The costas, for example, and rural tourism also. And what about city tourism? So, why are there currently anti-tourism demonstrations in many parts of the country

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It came as a shock when, 10 years ago King Juan Carlos I, abdicated in favour of his son Felipe. "Why?" many asked, but it soon began to emerge that Juan Carlos, king since 1975 when the dictator Franco died, had been a "naughty boy."

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My local, the Hotel Don Benito, on the Seville Road just outside Ronda is a place where Monday is unofficial “Guiri night”. What's a "guiri"?

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Michael Portillo has gone from being a political hate figure to a cuddly presenter of TV travel programmes. But how did it happen?

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When I first moved to Spain over 15 years ago, you could watch UK TV to your heart’s content. And it was free. All you needed was a satellite dish pointed at the Astra B satellite and a receiver next to your TV set. Since 4 April 2024 that has all changed .....

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Do you remember the classic BBC Television comedy series starring Richard Briers as Tom, Felicity Kendall as Barbara, with “posh” neighbours Paul Eddington as Jerry and Penelope Keith as Margo? Here's the Andalusian version.

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"Maltesers" for dinner! We invited our friends from Malta round for an evening meal! People from this Mediterranean island that lies between Italy and North Africa are called “Maltesers”, aren’t they?

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The cost of train travel in Spain is set to plummet. French rail company OUIGO will expand into ANDALUCIA, MURCIA and VALLADOLID with tickets from €9, writes Yzabelle Bostyn of The Olive Press. The French rail company has come in for criticism for its ultra-low prices.

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Here’s an article from DIARIO RONDA telling us that Ronda is the happiest town in Spain, heading a list that includes other favourites of mine. The survey was carried out by the sugar company Azucarera against five strict criteria.

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Back in the day when Pablo de Ronda lived and worked in the UK, he had a car with a cherished number plate or personalised registration. He bought it for himself on reaching his half century. The number was M50 PJW.

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A great football quote

A great football quote


As we reach the Final of EUROCOPA2024 tomorrow this memorable quote from the late, great Bill Shankly seems very apt.

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June is a great month, isn't it?

June is a great month, isn't it?


I wonder.....

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Silence and a smile are great weapons!!

Silence and a smile are great weapons!!


"El silencio y la sonrisa son dos armas muy poderosas. La sonrisa resuelve problemas y el silencio los evita" [Paulo Coelho] "Silence and a smile are two very potent weapons. A smile solves problems and silence avoids problems altogether"

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Flaming June

Flaming June


“In early June the world of leaf and blade and flowers explodes, and every sunset is different.” — John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent

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"Today is a good day to start smiling!" [Anon.]

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John Lennon in Hamburg

John Lennon in Hamburg


The Beatles - John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr - "cut their teeth" playing at the All Star Club in HAMBURG in the late 50s/early 60s. I took this photo last Sunday at Hamburg Airport.

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¡Mas vale tarde que nunca!

¡Mas vale tarde que nunca!


Exactly the same as the English proverb: "Better late than never". I'm a bit late posting this week's QUOTE OF THE WEEK. I hope it was worth the wait!

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"Keep quiet and smile!"

"Keep quiet and smile!"


"Silence and a smile are two very powerful weapons. A smile solves problems and silence avoids them in the first place!" [Anon.]

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April 23, St George's Day and International Book Day

April 23, St George's Day and International Book Day


Hemingway on reading books.

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The Bard's take on April

The Bard's take on April


As Spring is bursting out all over, Shakespeare's words sum it all up.

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April and Spring

April and Spring


"Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again." - [Gustav Mahler, Austrian composer (1860 - 1911)]

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"The great gift of EASTER is HOPE." [Cardinal Basil Hume]

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A thought for Holy Week, which begins today

A thought for Holy Week, which begins today


“Humility, obedience, meekness, and love are the virtues that shine through the Cross and the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar. O my Jesus, help me imitate you!” [St. Anthony Mary Claret]

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Spending money on travel makes you richer? Doh!

Spending money on travel makes you richer? Doh!


"VIAJAR es lo UNICO QUE COMPRAS y te hace mas RICO!" "Travelling is the only thing you have to pay for and it makes you richer". A-ma-zing!

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Impossible? Not at all!

Impossible? Not at all!



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Meteorological Spring has arrived!

Meteorological Spring has arrived!


“No matter how long the winter, spring is sure to follow.” - [English proverb]. Meteorologists recognise March 1 as the first day of meteorological spring, which is based on annual temperature cycles and the Gregorian calendar.

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Dia de Andalucia - 28 de febrero

Dia de Andalucia - 28 de febrero


Si Dios tuviese que buscar un nuevo lugar para vivir, seguro que elegiría Andalucía. [If God had to find a new place to live, He would surely choose Andalucía]

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FEBRUARY according to P B Shelley

FEBRUARY according to P B Shelley


“February, bending from Heaven. In azure mirth, it kissed the forehead of the Earth and smiled upon the silent sea, and bade the frozen streams be free, and waked to music all their fountains, and breathed upon the frozen mountains.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Cartoonist Charles M Schulz hits the nail on the head! [courtesy of Readers Digest]

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This year is a leap year, meaning that February has 29 days. This quote sums it up.

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Interesting viewpoint from one of the UK´s best ever prime ministers. He was Labour PM from 1945 to 1951.

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Stormy weather!

Stormy weather!


"However long the storm lasts, the sun always shines strongly again!"

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Well said, Dolly!

Well said, Dolly!


What comes before a rainbow .....?

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A New Year resolution for 2024 at Epiphany

A New Year resolution for 2024 at Epiphany


Loving and using .....

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A Quote for New Year

A Quote for New Year


"You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream". HAPPY NEW YEAR 2024!

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  • Ronda, Andalucía, Spain

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