15 Mar

By The Curmudgeon

My wife left me yesterday ….. for the day! 

She went to the coast to San Pedro de Alcántara with her German friends, for the weekly market, to spend time on the beach there and to eat at a chiringuitoKala-Kalua, right on the same beach. 

Photo: Trip Advisor

They then went to Málaga city to take home another German friend, who had come on the bus to meet them in San Pedro. 

So, I was kind of “de Rodríguez” (footloose and fancy-free) for the day. 

My day “de Rodríguez” 

I took advantage of being on my own to crack on with important matters. 


First, I went to the town lawyer to make an appointment for next week. 

Photo: Forbes

An English guy, let’s call him “Scouse Git” for legal reasons, owes me nearly 6,000€ for renovations I did to his house in Ronda, so I am taking legal steps to get a judgement in my favour and an embargo on his bank account for the money. 

It’s an open-and-shut case: I have proof of our contract, so he will have to fulfil it and pay me. 


Then I went to my bank, CaixaBank, to see Jesús, and to pay, under protest, an electricity bill for said “Scouse Git”, because I was daft enough to put the connection order for his house in my name to speed things up, so we could start on the work. 

Photo: CaixaBank

I didn’t know he was going to turn nasty and refuse to pay me what he owes me. 


I did a translation for Ronda Council Culture Department last December. They still haven’t paid me 3 months later!

Photo: The Olive Press

Excuse after excuse. 

Today I enlisted the help of a friend and neighbour who is a councillor in Ronda. 

Let’s hope something happens after long last. 

Rogue estate agent 

I collaborated with a well-known local estate agent. The deal was, as a corredor, I would give her introductions to houses for sale, and if she sold them, I would earn a commission. 

Photo: Alamy

I “gave” her around a dozen houses. She has sold several of them but has only paid me commission on one. It’s outrageous, but I will get KP from ACH eventually. 

Although she has lived and worked in Andalucía for decades, she is not as smart as I am. I know the law; she apparently doesn’t. 

“Real” retirement 

As a result of all this hassle, I have decided to really retire, nearly 20 years after I actually stopped work and became a pensioner. 

No more house conversions, no more translations, no more collaborating with estate agents. 


A quick stop at a Chinese supermarket to buy a couple of things I needed, and I was back home for midday. 

House and garden work

It was so hot, that unhindered by anybody else, I got my kit off and set about various tasks around the garden. We practice nudism in our private garden (FKK as it’s known in Germany, the land of my missus.) 

Photo: Amazon

I completed my repair of our car port, the roof of which was destroyed by recent storms in the area. 

I installed a celosía and planted a bush; I completed a new seating area at the rear of our large garden; I painted two shed doors; erected a new screen between us and next door; and weeded my huerto (vegetable garden). 

Photo: iStock

In between I had a skinny dip in the pool – bloody cold – and lit the barbecue. Had a great lunch.

Photo: Paul Whitelock

Time was getting on, so I tidied up and went to my local for a few beers and to start this article. 

When I got home, the Meter Maid (Lovely Rita, geddit?) was back from the coast, so my día de Rodríguez was over.


... de Rodríguez? - Secret Serrania de Ronda

PROFESSIONAL SERVICES - Help me, Ronda (help-me-ronda.com) 


ACH, barbecue, CaixaBank, Curmudgeon, de Rodriguez, estate agent, FKK, Freikörperliche Kultur, house conversions, lawyer, Liverpool, Lovely Rita, Malaga, Meter Maid, nudism, Olive Press, Paul Whitelock, Ronda, Ronda Council, Scouse Git, Secret Serrania, skinny dip 

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